Return to Blog

Christmas Jokes

 

Q: What did the reindeer say before he began his comedy act?

A: This is going to sleigh you!

Q: What goes “oh, oh, oh”?

A: Santa walking backwards!

Q:  What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?

A: Sandy claws!

Q: Why is Santa so good at karate?

A: Because he has a black belt!

—————————————————————-

Knock, Knock

Who's there?
Snow who?

Snow use. I forgot my name again!

—————————————————————

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Irish

Irish who?

Irish you a Merry Christmas!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————-

A few jokes for the older kids!

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?” 
”Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant. 
”That’s no offence,” said the judge. 
”It is if you do it before the shops are open,” countered the prosecutor.

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job?

A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

Q: A truthful politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were talking when they all noticed a $5 note on the floor. Who picked it up?

A: Santa of course, the other two don't exist!

Q: Why are cows good at budgeting for Christmas?

A: They always use a cow-calculator!
Need up to $10,000?

Related Articles

Are you eligible to apply?

  • I’m 18 years or older
  • I’m employed (not self-employed)
  • I’m paid $500 or more a week into my bank account
  • My income is not solely from Centrelink
  • I’ve not entered into bankruptcy or part 9 agreement within the last 12 months

WARNING - DO YOU REALLY NEED A LOAN TODAY?*

It can be expensive to borrow small amounts of money and borrowing may not solve your money problems.

Check your options before you borrow:
For more information about other options for managing bills and debts, ring 1800 007 007 from anywhere in Australia to talk to a free and independent financial counsellor.

Talk to your electricity, gas, phone or water provider to see if you can work out a payment plan.
If you are on government benefits, ask if you can receive an advance from Centrelink.
https://www.humanservices.gov.au/individuals/online-help/centrelink/apply-advance-payment-your-centrelink-online-account

The Australian Government’s MoneySmart Website shows you how small amount loans work and suggests other options that may help you.

* This statement is an Australian Government requirement under the National Consumer Credit Protection Act 2009.